the changing light

things have really begun to shape around the cabin literally. i've taken up working for my landlord and his carpenter to learn a bit about putting things together and whatnot. right now i only tear them apart but nonetheless it is satisfying.

i've cleared out some tree limbs from around the cabin and now our view into the forest is broad and gorgeous. its funny, and i suppose this is the "lesson" how much a little change that you never thought about before changes everything.

i'm moving toward working carpentry/construction in general, its a more satisfying outlet, less prim people to 'serve' than the service industry and more actually valuable skills, no more plastic smiles.

of course, the real goal is to have my music land in people's laps and have them be obsessed with it.

the real goal is to do exactly what i am doing now... work hard, make music, be in touch with...well, YOU, and live.

i'd like to make real cds, i'd like to have a professional cello, i'd like to have all the equipment i need to perform a live show, i'd like to not work at the restaurant any more. i'd love to see a film with my music in it. i'd love to tour the entire us and europe for a year or two on and off. but most importantly (this is the inspirational message... if you haven't noticed i'm feeling enormously sentimental today) i really like what i have, the cabin, kate, walnut, scissors, my family. et cetera.

i think i'm feeling especially sentimental because i went to go start my old car that sarah wilmer of bronwyn fame sold me for $200 and it wouldn't start. it made me realize how much i loved that car, all 275,000 miles on it, cracked windshield, missing side mirrors, missing tail light, faulty wiring, leaking oil and all. i really am grateful to all the things that that car did for me... i mean, that thing was actually verging on fucking magical: i think like 8 trips back and forth to california (including moving), every night i wanted driving across portland to kate's apartment, jobs, cello lessons, gigs, all possible because of that care (and thus Sarah).

well don't worry sarah, i have made a vow to fix it up running and give it to someone who needs it. any takers?

it feels as though it is happening, believe it or not...

good friends

one of my best friends tyler came to visit this morning. he is one of my favorite people ever, i forget that too easily, which is necessary so that i don't miss him (and all my other really good friends) too much. he came and saw the cabin and the kitties, and we talked by the ocean.

my brother nate was also in town with his girlfriend simone, who arranged for me to surprise him by joining them unannounced for lunch. it was really cool. nate is so cool. happy birthday nate.

its another gorgeous day today. the rain fell a bit last night, cold enough to start a fire in the woodstove this morning. time to collect kindling and buy a bunch of firewood.

the first blog

i'm thinking that i will begin to use the blog for my more 'personal' entries. this one of course is sort of like, hint hint, testing testing but hopefully it will work out just fine. in fact i'm sure it will. it will be nice to have the option of your response! ok. first blog entry ever done.